well i have been reading some journals and i think i found one thing in common. EVERYONE WANTS TO FALL IN LOVE! it's this age (about 18-22 or so). everybody is searching for it. they want to find that one special person that they "click" with, that they can laugh with and cry with and experience new things with... and some of these people are so torn up about not having that person yet. (and i do include myself in this). it's like we're all looking so hard, but we forget that God has it all planned out already. it's just easy to get impatient, esp when all around you you see people in love- or so it seems. i guess my biggest fear is that no one will ever accept me for who i am, faults and all. i am so far from perfect and there are a million other girls out there that are prettier than me and funnier than me and i guess i just get scared sometimes that i'll always be alone. i don't mean to get all sappy, but it's just something i've been thinking about a lot lately. and it's great to have friends that will come alongside you and tell you how cool you are and all that jazz... but it's just not the same.
i guess the thing i've been learning is that my love for God has to come before anything else in my life. if i make finding a "guy" a bigger priority than knowing God more, than God's probably not gonna drop mr. perfect in my lap. i mean, God's a jealous God. He's the creator of everything and He wants our full attention. when we make God #1, then things will begin to fall into place and He'll start blessing us with the things we want (and need).
so i guess i just want to say to myself and all the rest of you out there that are confused about life and love- give God your full heart. do what you can to serve Him now, while you're young and God'll bless you for that.
ok, that's the end of my schpeel... i hope that made some sense. if not, oh well... i think i made myself feel better at least. :)