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August 23rd, 2001

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well i went to the park yesterday and played some sand volleyball. that was fun. i jumped in during the middle of one game and helped my team win. ;) then we all went to the pavillion and bryan (youth pastor) wanted to have a "discussion." turns out he wanted to talk about dating/courtship... our views, etc etc. he goes "i want to hear everybody's opinions so feel free to share." then he says "but susan i don't want you to start cause everyone knows your opinion." i was like uhhh ok. that really made me mad. i wasn't even gonna say anything. i had just gotten done telling jesse how i was gonna keep my mouth shut cause i always end up getting attacked during a dating discussion. yeah so anyways i was a little hurt by bryan's comment. so he asked a couple people to share and like hardly anybody was real open so he goes "ok sue tell us how you feel." i was like "well why should i speak? i thought everybody knew my opinion already." i think when i said that he realized that his comment wasn't real appreciated. i'm not sure how he meant it, but it just didn't come off nice. even kate and lyryn agreed with me. anyways he gave me the floor so i spoke. turns out like almost everyone there that talked after me agreed with what i said and appreciated what i had to say. that actually made me feel good. hopefully i can be a good example to some of the younger kids of a girl with high standards. i dunno.

after the picnic i told katie and lyryn i wanted to go visit heather, jon and the kids at the pool heather was lifeguarding at. turns out we just missed them and they had left already so we just went over to their house. (they're only 2 houses down from mine). we ended up staying there for a couple hours just playing with the kids and then talking with heather and jon. they're a really cool couple and we had fun sharing different stories and stuff. btw- lyryn did what you wrote in your journal about the whole age thing have anything to do with last nite??? just wondering...

so then kate and i go home and my mom tells me to go to the store and buy her hair spray cause she was leaving this morning for new orleans. i was like "mom it's 10:30. i'm tired. i don't want to drive all the way into town to the only 24 hour eckard around here to get your hair spray." the next thing i know she's screaming at me and calling me a pig and telling me to go look for an apartment. i don't know what the heck happened. maybe she's pms'ing. she was just taking all her anger out on me. yelling at me cause she stayed at work till 10 last nite paying bills which isn't my fault. then she yelled at me for not checking on my brother (not like she asked me to). i mean he's her child for crying out loud. it was ridiculous. well needless to say i went and got the hair spray and came back very pissed off. i gave her the hair spray, went to my room and slammed the door. she comes into my room and starts yelling even more. it made me so mad. i am never gonna be like that to my children. gosh she has no idea how good she has it. she has 4 awesome kids who love God, never do drugs... drink... aren't whores... gosh she's blessed. then sometimes she just hauls off and treats us like crap. how's that supposed to make me feel? i hate it.

i went to bed very frustrated. she comes in my room at 5 this morning cause her and my dad and aunt and uncle had to catch their plane at 6:30. she's like "i love you." i was like "umm no you don't. if you did you wouldn't treat me like crap." she starts crying and practically yelling at me again. i didn't want to deal with it. i just wanted her to leave so i could go back to bed. so now her and my dad are gone and won't be back till sunday nite! that should be nice. just me kate and steve. sweet.

well the kids are bugging me to go for lunch so i better go. i gotta take my little brother to an ice cream social at the middle school tonite. should be fun. sike.

time to eat!
Current Mood:
hungry hungry
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yeah work got nuts on me today. at the end of the day all this horrible confusing stuff happened and i had to keep calling my mom to have her help me. it was sooooo annoying.

turns out i didn't have to take stevie to his "ice cream social." his friend's mom picked him up. don called us at work. we put him on speaker phone. it's always different to hear someone's voice that you've never heard before cause it's not usually how you imagined it. but i had fun. kate was cracking me up. i don't know how annoying we sounded but it was cool. he's a nice guy. katie practically did all the talking. every time i tried to say something she cut me off! i hate that... oh well. i'm over it.

umm what else... we went to the mall tonite and visited lyryn at sears. grabbed some food. visited lyryn again and came home. it's raining now. lyryn came over. she's gonna sleep over. she's the first guest in my room since it's been redecorated! :)

ok well i'm gonna end this. later.
Current Mood:
silly silly
Current Music:
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